Chapter 17

Mommy, I Need Your Help

Lynn and Denny sat at the table that they shared with Lynn’s family, Richard’s parents and brother and, of course, the bride and groom.
Lynn sighed as she saw the newlyweds starting another dance. She wanted to talk to Billie and tell her about her pregnancy, she needed advice and she needed that from someone who adored children. She needed someone to tell her that wanting to have those babies wasn’t wrong, that terminating the pregnancy wasn’t an option. She was a future psychiatrist, she could tell that this “need” to hear the words “keep the baby (well, babies actually)” meant that deep inside she wanted to keep them but was afraid to make the decision herself. Having someone suggest that she should have the babies was much easier than stating loud and clear that she would keep them. And that’s what she needed her sister for. But Billie – Rae Winston – Zeller seemed determined to dance the night away in her prince’s arms, she observed with another sigh.
“I want to dance!” she said turning to Denny “Let’s dance!”
“You can’t dance.” Denny said rubbing her arm.
“Yes, she can” Kathy interrupted. “She’s a great dancer. She’s better than me. Actually she’s better than all of us. Except for Abby, maybe, but Abs wants to be a ballerina, so she doesn’t really count. She can dance” her younger sister concluded patting him on the shoulder.
“Did you hear that” Lynn said, “I can dance” she smiled pretending not to know what Denny meant.
“That's not what I meant” he whispered so that no one else would hear him “You shouldn't be dancing” he continued. But he was unable to stop her and had to follow as the band switched to a blues.
He put his arms around her waist and tried again. “Lynn, you know you're supposed to be resting not dancing ...”
“Stop it, okay? Just stop it” she snapped “I have been resting for the past two weeks and you … you ...” she stopped, her eyes brimming with tears.
“Hey” he said kissing her forehead “What is it? What's wrong? Did I do something?” he asked against her forehead.
“No ...” she finally answered and Denny let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. “It's not you. You are great. You were great ever since you … we … ever since my fainting” she said smiling. “But this is not what you want. You … you didn't want a baby, let alone two ...”
“No, I didn't” he admitted.
“See?” she said a tear escaping her.
“I didn't want a baby” he said again “But it happened, I got you pregnant, and I'm willing to do … the right thing … I'll get a job, give … give up school if I have to … and we'll raise them, okay? If this is what you want ...” he finished. But she didn't answer.
“Lynn?” he called “Still with me?” he asked with a smile. “Are you okay?”
“Yes” she answered biting her lip to prevent the tears from falling. Because she knew that very moment that she couldn't do it. She couldn't let him give up his dream. She couldn't agree to that knowing that one day he might blame it on her. Or worse, their children. She realized there was only one way to do this and she was going to do it no matter how much it hurt.
She gave him a bright smile.
“You're right” she said “I should be resting. In fact I'll go rest right now. But you can stay and enjoy the party for a while longer. You know, get tips from Richard about surgical internship” she winked “I'll ask mom to take me to my hotel room.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yeah … I'll see you later” she said and kissed his lips lightly “Bye”.
“Bye” he said back.
Lynn took off and walked slowly but determined towards her mother.
“Mom” she called.
“Yes, baby angel”
When she was sure she had her mother's attention, Lynn bent down and whispered into her ear “Mommy, I need your help.”