Chapter 27

Falling

"Are you going to lecture me?" Alexander asked gesturing with the pack of ice he was supposed to hold on his bruised eye.

"Don't you deserve it?" Igor asked. "And put that on your eye" he added, then proceeded to examine Alexander's fingers. Two of his knuckles were scratched. Charlie's teeth, he remembered.

"He was picking on her again" Alexander justified himself angrily. "She didn't do anything to him. She never does or says anything. She just tries to ignore him and he's picking on her every chance he gets. He deserved it! Ouch!" he concluded just as Igor put something on his knuckle. "That hurt!"

"Sorry" Igor shrugged, then spoke "Okay, I agree that he picks on her without reason and yes, he did deserve it. But if you want to get that citizenship you have to stop doing that. This kind of behavior doesn't look good."

"But he ..." Alexander started.

"Sasha, he's American, you're not. They could kick you out of the team in the blink of an eye. You, not him. No matter whose fault it is." Igor explained bitterly.

"Fine" Alexander agreed reluctantly. "But if he does so much as get close to her again, I swear ..."

"One more thing, Sasha" Igor interrupted. "I want you to promise me that you and Kathy won't get ... romantically involved."

"Huh?!" Alexander uttered with raised eyebrows.

"I saw the way you look after her. You hold hands on and off ice, you spend a lot of time together ..."
It was Alexander's turn to interrupt his coach.

"Of course I look after her, she's a cute tiny little girl and ... she's sad all the time and ... holding hands is just a habit and I spend time with her, we're partners, a team. She's my friend ..." he explained.

Igor smiled.

"First, she is not a cute little girl, she is a beautiful young woman. And second, you might not realize it just yet, but I think you are falling for her. And I don't blame you. As I said, she is beautiful and she is also smart and funny and everything a guy could dream about in a woman. But I need you to keep this the way it is, a nice friendship between dance partners, nothing more ..."

"Okay, I get that ... I think. But what if I really fall in love? Couldn't we give it a chance? Maybe we would be happy together ... I'm not saying I will but ... what if I do?" Alexander asked.

"There's no 'maybe'. Champions work with yes or no. What if you two do fall in love and it doesn't work? Will you be able to keep it outside the skating rink? Will you be able to remain friends? Can you guarantee that your skating won't suffer?" Igor answered his questions with other more.

"She needs you, Sasha. What she doesn't need, however, is more complications. You see, Katherine Winston has the potential to become a great ice dancer. I've been watching her since she was twelve and let me tell you that she is the most talented and artistic young dancer I've seen in years. She clearly has some issues now and she seems to have lost faith in her skating abilities and that is why we must help her. We can't give up on her, because she's worth helping. She's worth it, Sasha!"

Alexander had been training with Igor since he was seven but he had never heard him speak so passionately about anyone before.

"Yeah, I think she's worth it, too ..." he said eventually, not sure weather he was talking about her skating or just ... her.

Was he really falling for his partner?

Chapter 26

Keeping The Distance

The first week of August found Kathy, Alexander and their coaches in Moscow.
They were supposed to train in Russia until Skate America, their first competition of the season.
Unfortunately things weren't going as smooth as they had hoped. Their programs were still a bit ... unshaped, Kathy was feeling a bit homesick and, to top it all, her ex-partner was in Moscow, too. He and his new partner were working with a Russian choreographer for the season.
Actually the two couples 'shared' Alena Rostova, for the moment, although Kathy and Alexander's programs were usually choreographed by Igor's wife, 'the nice Russian lady' as she had been dubbed by Abby.
She missed Abby. As annoying as she was, that very moment Kathy wished she would be home even listening to the nine year old's rantings.
It had been a terrible day. She had woken up that morning hoping the day would be a good one, that the stupid original dance would look good on ice for once and, most important, that Charles would stop teasing her every chance he got.
As the day progress, however, she realized she had done too much hoping.
Their training session had gone fine until 'America's sweethearts' Adams and Crawford took the ice and Kathy froze. She couldn't explain why his presence on the same ice affected her so much. Maybe because the moment he looked at her, she knew that to him she'd always be the fat and silly chick that looked at him with puppy eyes and begged him not to end their partnership.
With him there, she couldn't do a damn thing. She couldn't concentrate, couldn't skate ... And she hated it. She had never been the 'queen of confidence' on the ice and finally, with Alexander, she felt more confident than ever. Until Charles looked at her, that mocking smile on his face. Then she was a mess.
Today had been pretty much the same until ... it got worse.
The moment Adele and Charles stepped on the ice Kathy became clumsy and unfocused. Both skaters and coach were relieved to end the day's training half an hour later.
Kathy had just finished drowning her misery in the shower and was waiting patiently for her partner, when Charlie entered the locker room.
"Haven't gone back home, yet?" he snickered.
"I'm waiting for Alex" she answered not looking at him.
"Oh, no, I mean home, in the U.S." he said "Skating's not for whales. I thought you'd have that figured out by now".
"Why do you have to be this mean?" Kathy asked her voice trembling slightly.
"I'm being realistic here, babe. Unlike you. I'm sure your partner has figured out what a waste of ice time you were. How do you manage to keep him from dumping you? Sleeping with him?"
Kathy was boiling with rage. She stood up to slap him, but didn't get the chance because Alexander's fist came out of nowhere and collided with Charlie's nose.
"Alex, no!" Kathy screamed and tried to get between them while Charlie responded by punching back aiming for Alexander's eye.
"Stay out of this!" Alexander yelled and for a moment she froze. Apparently enough for someone to grab her arm and pull her back.
Igor and another Russian skater stopped the two.
"What the hell is wrong with you two?" Igor yelled at them "Your coach is going to hear about this. Now get out of my sight" he told Charlie. "Not you" he added when Alexander made a move to leave, too. "I want to talk to you" he added.
"But Kathy ..." Alex mumbled.
"Tami can take her back to the skate house" he said and the girl who now had one arm around Kathy's shoulders nodded and said
"Sure, coach Igor, no problem. Come on, Katenka" she added "Let's have a nice cup of milk".
"I, I ... hate this ..." Kathy spoke in a shaky voice staring at the floor.
"Sorry, I forgot" Tami shrugged trying to lighten the mood although everybody could tell that as much as Kathy didn't like milk this was definitely not about it.
"How about hot chocolate then?" the other skater asked smiling.
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Ice dancer Tamara Koroleva was one year older than Kathy. She and her partner were Russia's number one dance team, with great chances to win gold at the upcoming Olympic Games.
That had changed slightly when Tamara got pregnant. Kathy didn't know the whole story behind it, it was way too complicated. Vsevolod Krutchev, a hansom guy in his early thirties and the team's coach, had been Tamara's boyfriend for a few months but apparently the baby she was carrying wasn't his, but her partner's. How they had gotten to conceive a baby and why Tami was with someone else was beyond Kathy's understanding, but she didn't really care either.
Tami had become her friend since they shared a room at the skate house in Odintsovo (near Moscow) and she had to intention to question the way she lived her life or the reason behind it.
Tami could have shared a room with her boyfriend, but Igor's wife, Tatiana wouldn't have it. Kathy wasn't sure weather it was because an unmarried couple living together would have been a bad example for the young skaters or to make sure Kathy wouldn't feel lonely. The truth was she didn't. And she liked Tami. She was also very grateful that, due to her advanced pregnancy (past eight months along), Tami didn't go out that much so she had company almost all the time.
The only 'visitors' they had were their respective coaches and partners.
Tami's partner, Dmitry Makarov was the skater who broke the fight between Alexander and Charlie ...
"Feeling better?" Tami asked pouring her the promised hot chocolate.
Kathy sighed. She was definitely trouble ...
"I guess" she finally answered.
"I have a doctor's appointment in about an hour. Will you be okay if I leave you alone?" Tami asked slightly worried.
"I'm not really the suicidal type, so, yeah, I'll be fine" Kathy answered.
"Okay, then" Tami said and gave a her a peck on the cheek. "Bye, Katenka!"

Chapter 25

Max

Lynn kissed baby Jamie's forehead and gently placed him back in his crib.
"Sweet dreams, little guy" she whispered, then glanced at the other crib, where baby Will was already asleep.
"Mommy loves you both so much" she continued to whisper. "And daddy would love you, too if he ..." she stopped. 'Knew you existed' were the right words but she opted for 'were here with us' instead.
The twins were now two and a half weeks old and she enjoyed being a mom. They made her very happy. And James, too. After four daughters, James Winston was very proud of his two grandsons, three if he counted Andy. Lynn remembered his face when she handed Jamie to him for the first time. He had been thrilled and struggled to hold back tears. He hated it that he had to leave Geneva after only one week. Ellen was still with her, though and Lynn couldn't be happier as sometimes she was still afraid not to hurt the babies while changing their diapers or giving them baths.
She sighed and checked on them one more time before going to her room to change. Rudy was supposed to pick her up in about an hour for Max's birthday party. She would finally meet Rudy's eldest son. All she knew about the nine year old was that he attended Academy La Rosey, loved Math and English and dreamed of becoming a doctor. The boy who, unlike his brother, probably remembered his mother. Was that the reason why she was so nervous to meet him? Was she trying to compete for Max and Danny's love against their dead mother? Or, maybe ... Rudy's love? "No" she said to herself "No more love. There's one thing Kath's right about, love sucks!" and with that she proceeded to look for an outfit that would suit the occasion.
......................................................................................................................................
As soon as Lynn and Rudy arrived at the small park rented for Max's party, the birthday boy rushed to greet them.
"Hello. I am Rudolf - Maximilian Fuchs" he introduced himself a serious expression on his little face and stretched his hand out to Lynn looking her straight in the eye.
He definitely had Rudy's eyes. She tried to remain serious as well as she shook his hand and said
"Well hello, Rudolf - Maximilian. I am Evelynne - Doreen Winston and it's a pleasure to finally meet you. This is for you" she added giving him the present she had spent hours deciding upon.
"Thank you" he said, then turned to his father and asked "May I be excused?"
"Yes, you may" Rudy answered and smiled ruffling his son's dirty blond hair.
Rudy smiled back before walking away towards his younger guests. And that 's when it hit her.
"He's a carbon copy of you!" she exclaimed. "Is he always this ... polite?" she asked slightly amused.
"Yes, he is. But he's not a carbon copy of me, I'm never that polite." he said grinning.
"Actually Mr. 'I speak English very well' the expression refers mainly to physical traits, physical resemblance" she explained playfully.
"I know that" he pouted.
"You, you are such a ..." she started pretending to be annoyed, but as she couldn't find the proper word she resumed to hitting him playfully across the shoulder. He grabbed her wrist to stop her and as he did so, he pulled her closer and kissed her softly on the lips, surprising them both. But before any of them could say something, Danny showed up out of nowhere and stopped in front of Lynn.
"Li, up!" he commanded stretching his chubby arms towards her.
She picked him up laughing, the awkward moment forgotten at least for a while.
Rudy went to get some cookies and orange juice for the three of them while Lynn sat on a chair with Danny in her lap. He was showing her a blueish spot on his forehead and babbled a story about how he had last bumped into a chair.
"Bad, bad sit!" he told her convincingly.
"Aw, it was a bad chair indeed" she agreed.
"Kiss" he demanded lifting his face eyes closed.
"Oh, you want me to kiss it better? Okay" she said and placed a kiss on his forehead.
"Nose" he then said.
"Your nose hurts, too?" she asked laughing.
"Kiss" Danny insisted and Lynn planted a kiss on his cute button nose.
"Such a bossy little angel" she said shaking her head.
"Bossy" Danny repeated happily.
Max had witnessed the whole scene from the distance, but he could still hear Lynn's laughter and his little brother's happy giggles. Why was she holding his brother? Why was Danny letting her hold him? He had never been so friendly to anyone his whole life. Why was he beyond friendly with her? Because he doesn't remember mamma, a voice in his head whispered. No, of course he didn't. He couldn't because she had died about the same time he was born. He remembered going to mamma's funeral and a few days after, papa had brought Danny home. Did mamma die because of Danny? His eyes grew wide at the thought. He had never thought about it ... Maybe if he tried very hard to remember ... maybe it would come back to him ... He shut his eyes and tried. But all he could remember was his Uncle Georg telling him that mamma had to go on a very long trip and never come back ... But why was this uncle he barely knew there? Where was papa? He couldn't remember ... Why couldn't he? He felt tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. He won't cry. Not today. Today was his birthday.
However there was something he could do. No, should. And he walked bravely to where Lynn sat determined to interrupt the sweet interaction between her and his brother. He took a seat across the table.
"You go to medical school. To be a doctor" he said knowingly. "Papa told me" he explained.
"Yes, I do. But a different kind of doctor. I'm going to be a psychologist." she told him.
"What does a psychologist do? Is it still a doctor?" he asked.
"As a matter of fact, yes. You know how a doctor treats our body when something is wrong with it?"
Max nodded.
"Well, psychologists treat our mind" she explained as best as she could.
"Our mind can get sick?" Max asked his eyes growing wider.
"Yes. When something very bad happens to a person or when someone looses something very important or ... someone. Well, sometimes that person is not strong enough to get through the sadness and pain. That can cause the mind to get sick."
"I see ..." Max answered and seemed deep in thought.
"My sister is a ... body doctor, though. She's a surgeon."
"What is a surgeon?" Max's question came right on cue.
"Have you ever been sick and had to take pills to make you feel better?" Max nodded and she went on "Sometimes pills can't make us feel better. And then the doctors have to do more. A surgeon operates on people to make them feel better. Puts back broken bones, cuts out pieces that shouldn't be there called tumors. Oh, and also gets babies out of mommies' tummies" she added smiling.
"You have babies" Max said after a while.
"Yes, I have two baby boys" she told him.
"May I see them sometimes, please? And play with them?" he asked.
"They are a bit too young to play. But of course you can see them. I'll talk to your papa and he can bring you over to my place" she promised.
"Thank you" he said smiling.
"You're welcome".
Right then Rudy came back with two glasses and Danny's sippy cup.
"I didn't know you were here and only brought two glasses" he told Max. "I'm sorry".
"He can have mine" Lynn offered placing her glass in front of Max. "The last couple of months I only drank orange juice. I've had enough for a lifetime."
Then she took the sippy cup from Rudy and gave it to Danny, slowly guiding his hand.
"There you go, pumpkin" she told him smiling.
"Can I go play?" Max asked after emptying his glass.
"May" his father corrected "Yes, go".
He took a few steps then stopped and turned to his father.
"Oh, papa?"
"Yes?"
"Did you know that not only our body, but our mind can get sick too and that surgeons take babies out of their mommy's tummy?" he asked proud of his knowledge.
"Wow, really?" Rudy pretended to be surprised.
"Yes" Max said. "I'm going now"
But again he turned to them after a few steps.
"Li" he said using the name his brother had for Lynn.
"Yes" she answered looking away from Danny who was trying to remove her hair clip.
"You may call me Max" he said smiling, then ran off to play with his friends leaving a stunned Lynn behind.
Little Danny used this to his advantage grabbing the hair clip and pulling at it which caused Lynn's hair to fall over her shoulders in waves.
"Haaa" the little boy squealed as strands of blond hair tickled his face.
"Serves you right!" she said cupping his face and bringing him closer so that their noses touched "Not just a kiss stealer, but also hair clip stealer now, are we?". She shook her head and Danny buried his little face in her hair once more.
Rudy watched them and found himself wishing he could bury his face in her hair just like his son. What a lucky little thief, he thought smiling.
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"I had a lot of fun today" she told Rudy later that night when he drove her home "Thank you" she added giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Then we should do the birthday party thing again. How about July 2nd? Is Danny's second birthday" he told her smiling.
"Yeah, sure" she answered feeling somewhat sad. Denny's birthday was July 10th. He'd turn 24 ... "
Unaware of her thoughts, Rudy chose that very moment to pull her closer and kiss her again. She flinched and gently pushed him away.
"No ..." she whispered.
"I'm sorry" he apologized taking a step back. "I thought you want it, too ..."
She noticed his disappointment and she felt she owed him an explanation. She took a deep breath then spoke.
"I've been in a loveless relationship. A game. A make believe, to keep boys away. A 'friends with benefits' kind of thing. I had been careless and got knocked up. Now I'm all alone with two kids. A relationship is the last thing I need" she explained bitterly.
Rudy was at a loss of words. It was the first time she spoke about the twins' father. He sighed and pulled her in his arms.
"You're not alone" he told her. "I want to be your friend. I want to be there for you, and Will and Jamie. And maybe we can try the kissing thing again someday ..." he added cautiously.
"Maybe, someday" she agreed smiling.
Loveless. He felt he loved her already. But ... hadn't he sworn never to love anyone else but his wife?

Chapter 24

Little Guys

Hours later a smiling Corine told Rudy that Lynn would like to see him. He rushed to her side and was greeted with a large smile.
"Hi" she said.
"Hi to you" he said looking at the baby cots next to her bed.
"You were right" she said "Two little guys ..."
"Congratulations! They look like their mother" he said grinning.
"They're too young to tell" she laughed. "That one" she said pointing to the baby on the left "Is William. He came first, so he's the eldest. And this one" she pointed to the baby on the right "Is James".
"Nice. What happened to Noah?" he asked smiling.
"Too biblical" she answered and they both laughed.
"Rudy?"
"Yes?"
"I want to thank you for making me do this. You said the right words, even if they weren't actually true"
"You are most welcome, little one. Now rest, because you'll have visitors soon. My words were entirely true, I'd never lie to you. Your mom should be here in about four hours. Sweet dreams" he finished chuckling at her bewilderment.
"Sweet dreams, little guys" he added smiling towards the twins, and then headed for the door.
Lynn sighed and closed her eyes, determined to chase away images of Denny, looking at the boys the way Rudy did. Denny was in the past.
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The day after that found Lynn sitting on her hospital bed, flipping through a magazine, bored out of her mind. When the door opened and her sister, Billie entered pushing Andy's stroller, she squealed with delight.
"Billie! You came!"
"Hey, you" Billie greeted hugging her. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine. Bored" Lynn answered. "How are you? How's Richard? Is he here, too?"
"No. His intern exam is in a couple of weeks. He's at home, studying." Billie answered.
"Oh, look at you, you've grown!" Lynn exclaimed reaching out to pick Andy up.
"Ten months already" Billie said, picking him up herself and placing him in Lynn's lap. "Here you go. You're get tired of this pretty soon" she joked. "So, how about your cutie cookies, how are they?" she asked.
"Two days old and always hungry. Oh, and little Will has developed a liking for screaming. I swear he's the noisiest baby I've ever seen. Rudy says it's always like this with twins. They're usually the opposite of each other ..."
"Uh - uh, I've heard some stuff about this Rudy guy. Let me see, something about bringing you to the hospital and then flying mom here on a private airplane" Billie said smiling.
"Um, yeah. Apparently some rich friend of his landed him his private plane for this" Lynn explained. She hadn't insisted when Rudy came up with the same explanation the day before.
Billie nodded.
"What about the fact that he happened to be the one who brought you to the hospital?" she asked.
"Oh ... that. Um ... you see, we were out for dinner and ... um ..."
"Wait, as in a date?" Billie interrupted.
"Well, I'm not so sure about that. I mean who would ask a pregnant lady on a date?" Lynn shrugged.
"He did, didn't he? Well, I think he likes you" Billie giggled.
"Right, because I'm so cool. With pregnancy, now babies, thing, any guy would want me now?" Lynn said bitterly.
"Oh, come on! Having a baby is great. Let alone two. I'd love that ..." Billie said trying to cheer her up, but the short sadness in her eyes didn't escape the future psychologist.
"Love what? To have a baby?" she asked.
"Um ... I do have a baby" her sister answered looking at Andy who was busy playing with his left shoe.
"But you would like another one?" Lynn continued.
"Well ..."
"Let me guess" Lynn interrupted. "Richard doesn't want another baby but you do".
Billie sighed then decided to speak.
"A few weeks after the wedding he suggested I should see a doctor to prescribe birth control pills. I asked him if he didn't want other children and he said that he did, but that it wasn't the right time since I would be starting my internship soon ..."
"Well, he's right about that one. I mean it would be a great challenge for you two as it is, since you already have one kid. If you get pregnant now it would be twice as hard ..." Lynn reasoned.
"I like challenges" Billie smiled "Besides, I'm getting old ..." she said causing Lynn to laugh.
"You turn 26 this year. You're not even 30" she told her.
"Yeah, and you're not even 23 years old and you already have two children" Billie shot back.
"And you have Andy. I thought he was your baby ..."
"Andy is my baby ..."
"Then stop. Look, if you really want a baby wait a few months, see how work is going and if you still think you can handle it, talk to Richard about it. It's as simple as that" Lynn said.
"You do know what Kath would say if she were here, don't you?" Billie grinned.
"She'd probably call me 'shrinkie'" Lynn answered and they both smiled. "How is she, by the way?"
"She and Alexander have been invited to perform with the Champions On Ice in L.A.. She's thrilled."
"I can imagine" Lynn said genuinely happy for her younger sister.
"Mom and dad will be going and they'll video record it for us" Billie assured her.
"And Abby?" Lynn asked.
"Eager to start middle school" came the answer.
"Westwood?" and Lynn's smile grew wider as she remembered her middle school years at Westwood Academy.
"Where else? She's a Winston" Billie chuckled. She, too, had great memories from Westwood.
"I miss them" Lynn sighed. "All the time. And I miss you ..."
"I know. I miss you, too, Lynnie - bun. But it'll get easier now that you have the boys. You have no idea how busy a baby can keep you" Billie told her. "Oh, and I'm sure Rudy would be around, too" she added winking.
"Very funny" Lynn said making a face and they both laughed.