Chapter 25

Max

Lynn kissed baby Jamie's forehead and gently placed him back in his crib.
"Sweet dreams, little guy" she whispered, then glanced at the other crib, where baby Will was already asleep.
"Mommy loves you both so much" she continued to whisper. "And daddy would love you, too if he ..." she stopped. 'Knew you existed' were the right words but she opted for 'were here with us' instead.
The twins were now two and a half weeks old and she enjoyed being a mom. They made her very happy. And James, too. After four daughters, James Winston was very proud of his two grandsons, three if he counted Andy. Lynn remembered his face when she handed Jamie to him for the first time. He had been thrilled and struggled to hold back tears. He hated it that he had to leave Geneva after only one week. Ellen was still with her, though and Lynn couldn't be happier as sometimes she was still afraid not to hurt the babies while changing their diapers or giving them baths.
She sighed and checked on them one more time before going to her room to change. Rudy was supposed to pick her up in about an hour for Max's birthday party. She would finally meet Rudy's eldest son. All she knew about the nine year old was that he attended Academy La Rosey, loved Math and English and dreamed of becoming a doctor. The boy who, unlike his brother, probably remembered his mother. Was that the reason why she was so nervous to meet him? Was she trying to compete for Max and Danny's love against their dead mother? Or, maybe ... Rudy's love? "No" she said to herself "No more love. There's one thing Kath's right about, love sucks!" and with that she proceeded to look for an outfit that would suit the occasion.
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As soon as Lynn and Rudy arrived at the small park rented for Max's party, the birthday boy rushed to greet them.
"Hello. I am Rudolf - Maximilian Fuchs" he introduced himself a serious expression on his little face and stretched his hand out to Lynn looking her straight in the eye.
He definitely had Rudy's eyes. She tried to remain serious as well as she shook his hand and said
"Well hello, Rudolf - Maximilian. I am Evelynne - Doreen Winston and it's a pleasure to finally meet you. This is for you" she added giving him the present she had spent hours deciding upon.
"Thank you" he said, then turned to his father and asked "May I be excused?"
"Yes, you may" Rudy answered and smiled ruffling his son's dirty blond hair.
Rudy smiled back before walking away towards his younger guests. And that 's when it hit her.
"He's a carbon copy of you!" she exclaimed. "Is he always this ... polite?" she asked slightly amused.
"Yes, he is. But he's not a carbon copy of me, I'm never that polite." he said grinning.
"Actually Mr. 'I speak English very well' the expression refers mainly to physical traits, physical resemblance" she explained playfully.
"I know that" he pouted.
"You, you are such a ..." she started pretending to be annoyed, but as she couldn't find the proper word she resumed to hitting him playfully across the shoulder. He grabbed her wrist to stop her and as he did so, he pulled her closer and kissed her softly on the lips, surprising them both. But before any of them could say something, Danny showed up out of nowhere and stopped in front of Lynn.
"Li, up!" he commanded stretching his chubby arms towards her.
She picked him up laughing, the awkward moment forgotten at least for a while.
Rudy went to get some cookies and orange juice for the three of them while Lynn sat on a chair with Danny in her lap. He was showing her a blueish spot on his forehead and babbled a story about how he had last bumped into a chair.
"Bad, bad sit!" he told her convincingly.
"Aw, it was a bad chair indeed" she agreed.
"Kiss" he demanded lifting his face eyes closed.
"Oh, you want me to kiss it better? Okay" she said and placed a kiss on his forehead.
"Nose" he then said.
"Your nose hurts, too?" she asked laughing.
"Kiss" Danny insisted and Lynn planted a kiss on his cute button nose.
"Such a bossy little angel" she said shaking her head.
"Bossy" Danny repeated happily.
Max had witnessed the whole scene from the distance, but he could still hear Lynn's laughter and his little brother's happy giggles. Why was she holding his brother? Why was Danny letting her hold him? He had never been so friendly to anyone his whole life. Why was he beyond friendly with her? Because he doesn't remember mamma, a voice in his head whispered. No, of course he didn't. He couldn't because she had died about the same time he was born. He remembered going to mamma's funeral and a few days after, papa had brought Danny home. Did mamma die because of Danny? His eyes grew wide at the thought. He had never thought about it ... Maybe if he tried very hard to remember ... maybe it would come back to him ... He shut his eyes and tried. But all he could remember was his Uncle Georg telling him that mamma had to go on a very long trip and never come back ... But why was this uncle he barely knew there? Where was papa? He couldn't remember ... Why couldn't he? He felt tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. He won't cry. Not today. Today was his birthday.
However there was something he could do. No, should. And he walked bravely to where Lynn sat determined to interrupt the sweet interaction between her and his brother. He took a seat across the table.
"You go to medical school. To be a doctor" he said knowingly. "Papa told me" he explained.
"Yes, I do. But a different kind of doctor. I'm going to be a psychologist." she told him.
"What does a psychologist do? Is it still a doctor?" he asked.
"As a matter of fact, yes. You know how a doctor treats our body when something is wrong with it?"
Max nodded.
"Well, psychologists treat our mind" she explained as best as she could.
"Our mind can get sick?" Max asked his eyes growing wider.
"Yes. When something very bad happens to a person or when someone looses something very important or ... someone. Well, sometimes that person is not strong enough to get through the sadness and pain. That can cause the mind to get sick."
"I see ..." Max answered and seemed deep in thought.
"My sister is a ... body doctor, though. She's a surgeon."
"What is a surgeon?" Max's question came right on cue.
"Have you ever been sick and had to take pills to make you feel better?" Max nodded and she went on "Sometimes pills can't make us feel better. And then the doctors have to do more. A surgeon operates on people to make them feel better. Puts back broken bones, cuts out pieces that shouldn't be there called tumors. Oh, and also gets babies out of mommies' tummies" she added smiling.
"You have babies" Max said after a while.
"Yes, I have two baby boys" she told him.
"May I see them sometimes, please? And play with them?" he asked.
"They are a bit too young to play. But of course you can see them. I'll talk to your papa and he can bring you over to my place" she promised.
"Thank you" he said smiling.
"You're welcome".
Right then Rudy came back with two glasses and Danny's sippy cup.
"I didn't know you were here and only brought two glasses" he told Max. "I'm sorry".
"He can have mine" Lynn offered placing her glass in front of Max. "The last couple of months I only drank orange juice. I've had enough for a lifetime."
Then she took the sippy cup from Rudy and gave it to Danny, slowly guiding his hand.
"There you go, pumpkin" she told him smiling.
"Can I go play?" Max asked after emptying his glass.
"May" his father corrected "Yes, go".
He took a few steps then stopped and turned to his father.
"Oh, papa?"
"Yes?"
"Did you know that not only our body, but our mind can get sick too and that surgeons take babies out of their mommy's tummy?" he asked proud of his knowledge.
"Wow, really?" Rudy pretended to be surprised.
"Yes" Max said. "I'm going now"
But again he turned to them after a few steps.
"Li" he said using the name his brother had for Lynn.
"Yes" she answered looking away from Danny who was trying to remove her hair clip.
"You may call me Max" he said smiling, then ran off to play with his friends leaving a stunned Lynn behind.
Little Danny used this to his advantage grabbing the hair clip and pulling at it which caused Lynn's hair to fall over her shoulders in waves.
"Haaa" the little boy squealed as strands of blond hair tickled his face.
"Serves you right!" she said cupping his face and bringing him closer so that their noses touched "Not just a kiss stealer, but also hair clip stealer now, are we?". She shook her head and Danny buried his little face in her hair once more.
Rudy watched them and found himself wishing he could bury his face in her hair just like his son. What a lucky little thief, he thought smiling.
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"I had a lot of fun today" she told Rudy later that night when he drove her home "Thank you" she added giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Then we should do the birthday party thing again. How about July 2nd? Is Danny's second birthday" he told her smiling.
"Yeah, sure" she answered feeling somewhat sad. Denny's birthday was July 10th. He'd turn 24 ... "
Unaware of her thoughts, Rudy chose that very moment to pull her closer and kiss her again. She flinched and gently pushed him away.
"No ..." she whispered.
"I'm sorry" he apologized taking a step back. "I thought you want it, too ..."
She noticed his disappointment and she felt she owed him an explanation. She took a deep breath then spoke.
"I've been in a loveless relationship. A game. A make believe, to keep boys away. A 'friends with benefits' kind of thing. I had been careless and got knocked up. Now I'm all alone with two kids. A relationship is the last thing I need" she explained bitterly.
Rudy was at a loss of words. It was the first time she spoke about the twins' father. He sighed and pulled her in his arms.
"You're not alone" he told her. "I want to be your friend. I want to be there for you, and Will and Jamie. And maybe we can try the kissing thing again someday ..." he added cautiously.
"Maybe, someday" she agreed smiling.
Loveless. He felt he loved her already. But ... hadn't he sworn never to love anyone else but his wife?