Chapter 1

Billie – Rae

(1990)

They Usually Come With A Note

She rang the door bell desperately waiting for an answer. She never thought anything could scare her best friend. But he had seemed pretty scared on the phone. That was good enough reason for Wilhelmina – Rachel Winston to hop into the first plane to New York at five o’clock in the morning. Finally the door opened…
“Richie!” she shouted. “You’re fine! My God, you’ve scared me!”
He looked at her so intently that she felt a huge need to go back where she came from. But she resisted and, even more, she did something she never had the courage to do before: she took one more step towards him and hugged him. For a second, he didn’t react in any way and she tensed expecting him to push her away, like he always did, every time she ever tried to get close to him. But she was more mature now. The shy teenager who had been in love with him ever since they started med school seven years ago, was now a confident young woman. After a split hugged her back.
“I need you”, he whispered. She could enjoy the moment, as she had been waiting and wishing for this for a long time, but instead she pulled back and said: “Wow, you’re not fine, are you?”. He didn’t answer.
“Richie, what’s wrong? I mean, you never needed me. I was the one needing you. You’re not … dying are you?” she continued half serious, half joking. “I’m not dying, but my career might”, he smiled, but then turned serious and told her looking deeply into her big green eyes “I always needed you, Rae. I just … never showed. I kept pushing you away, but never away enough for you not to come back … I’m sorry. And now … now, I need you more than ever …”
“All right, then.” she said, trying hard not to give in to emotions, “Tell me what happened, before I …”
“Before you what?”
“Nothing, just tell me.”
He took her hand and guided her to the living-room. “This happened”, he said pointing to the couch. And on the couch …
“That’s a baby”, she said looking at the baby and then back to Richie, and back to the baby … “Your … nephew?”, she tried.
“Apparently, my son”, he answered. “Two nights ago, when I came back from work I found him in a basket on my doorstep.”
Billie laughed. “You’re kidding right?” He looked more serious then ever. “You’re not kidding”, she added trying not to freak out. “Was there a … note with the baby? That’s how they usually come, with a note.”
He smiled, “This one came with a note, too. How unoriginal, huh? Oh, and he also came with diapers which I already used, and a bottle which I had to refill a few times. Here’s the note.”
Billie took the piece of paper and read:

Richie,

This beautiful baby boy is our son. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. Actually, I’m sorry you had to find out at all, I wasn’t planning on telling you. But plans change. I can’t provide him with anything a child needs. I can’t be a mother to him. So I’m giving him to you, begging you to love him and care for him the way I wish I could. Be a good daddy and find him a mommy, someone better than I could ever be. I love you both.
P.S.: He is three weeks old (born July 27) and doesn’t have a name yet. I thought you might want to name him.

“Not signed”, Billie noticed. “Typical. She obviously doesn’t want to be found.”
“Yeah.”
“So, my dear best friend, who did you sleep with … um … let’s see … oh, yeah, about eight and a half to nine and a half months ago?” she asked looking into his eyes.
“I … I don’t remember. I mean, that’s an entire month. You expect me to remember all the women I slept with in a month?” he asked turning away.
“Actually I expected you to only sleep with one, since you do have a girlfriend”, Billie’s voice seemed colder as she spoke again.
“I broke up with Olivia last October and got back together for Christmas. So when he is supposed to have been conceived I’ve slept with a lot of women: ex-girlfriends, co-workers, childhood friends, girls I picked up in bars and clubs … Like I wanted to prove something to myself. Or Olivia.”
Billie felt pity for him. She’d never seen him so sad …
“Well” she smiled, “it can’t be someone you see every day because you would have noticed her being pregnant, right? Then again, it must be someone you knew for sometime, because in the note she says she loves you both. I doubt any of your one night stands would come to love you in such a short time. She probably wouldn’t even have the baby. So … “ but she suddenly stopped talking and looked at him as if she remembered something. Then she said: “But you use protection, you always did. At least that’s what you’ve told me ever since we first talked about sex. So …”
“He might not be mine?”
“He might be yours … or not. You cannot know unless you run some tests. You’re a doctor for heaven’s sake, how come you didn’t think of it?”
“I … it must have slipped my mind … We should do that. We should go to the hospital and do that. Today.”

Prologue

She was dreaming. She knew she was dreaming. It was a strange feeling being able to tell that it was a dream and still keep … dreaming it …
She sat on a chair in the doctor’s office and cried.
“But … but, I have to be … Please tell me I am … please …”
“I am sorry, Miss Winston, your labs show that you are not pregnant. I am so sorry …”
“No …”
“Rae …” she heard someone call her, a voice she hadn’t heard in a long time. “Sweetheart, it’s ok … I’m here”, and she felt his arms wrapping tight aroud her.
“Richard …” she whispered, choosing to forget that it was just a dream. “I’m sorry … our baby … I thought …”
“Shhh … “
She woke up alone and in tears. Realizing it was indeed a dream she yelled in frustration:
“Get the hell out of my dreams and come hold me in real life, you idiot!”
Two minutes later, the door to her room burst open and she saw her sisters’ sleepy faces.
Lynn ran to her and hugged her, while Kathy kept asking what happened.
“I … I … had a dream” she sobbed into her sisters arms “Again …”
“Oh …” Lynn whispered.
“Crap!” Kathy added.
Both Billie and Lynn looked at her.
“Katherine!” Lynn scolded, “Stop that. It’s … rude. Billie’s really hurting. And she had a dream and she is probably frustrated and needs us …”
“It was about Richard”, Billie said and then smiled “Again …” Lynn gave her a smile and she continued “We were with a doctor and I thought I was pregnant but the doctor told us I wasn’t and … I felt so empty … and he was there to hug me and comfort me … And then I woke up and that feeling of emptiness is back. Oh, Lynn, I feel so empty and lonely … “
“I know …” her sister said hugging her again. Kathy came closer and hugged her, too.
“You have us …”, she said.
After a few minutes she disentangled herself from the other two and, starring at the window, she asked:
“Why am I still dreaming of him? I really thought I was over him …”
Lynn kind of knew the question was addressed to her.
“You’ve had a crush on him since day one. You’ve come to love him and you’ve loved him for five years … You’ve gone through med school with him and although he never knew that, you’ve become who you are now, partly because of him. The fact that he never shared your feelings made it somewhat worse. He knew how you felt and he also knew he was your best friend. Heck, you were his best friend, too. So he did what he thought would be best for both of you: pretend he didn’t see how in love you were and at the same time keep you close giving you the kind of love he could, that of a friend.”
“Let me tell you, sis, you’ll be a great shrink one day.” Kathy said mockingly.
“Shut it, Kath!” Lynn replied. They all smiled.
“It’s so nice to …” Billie started but she stopped as they heard a little voice down the hallway.
“Lynnie? Kathy? Where are you?”
“Abby” Kathy said.
“I’ll go.” and Lynn headed for the door.
“I swear I don’t get mom and dad. Why in the world did they need another kid ten years after their third?” Kathy commented.
“Dad was hoping for a son …” Billie smiled.
“Well, serves him right then, a fourth daughter, if he considered three girls weren’t enough and had to go for a boy.” Kathy said bitterly.
Her sister smiled knowing what a “blow” Abby’s birth had been to Kathy, when she realized she wasn’t going to be the baby of the family anymore.
Lynn came back carrying Abby.
“Welcome to the land of … GIGGLES!” she yelled and placed the eight years old on top of Billie and Kathy.
After a “match” of tickles and giggles and laughter, the four of them snuggled closer to each other under the covers.
“It was good to have you here tonight … After the dream I mean … “, Billie said.
“Haven’t we been here all the way? Since the first ‘I think I’ve fallen in love with the wrong guy’ all through ‘I love him with all my heart and he doesn’t even care!’ and ‘I know he’s hurting me, but he’s my best friend and I need him so much’ till ‘he’s taking Olivia to Graduation Party’ major breakdown?” Kathy asked jokingly.
“It was not a major breakdown!” Billie defended.
“Planning on showing us a greater one?”
“No …”
“Thanks!”
“Rude, Katherine, so rude …” Lynn started but not so convincing.
“Oh, shut it, shrinkie!” Kathy scolded.
“Good night!” Lynn said.
“’Night!”
“’Night!”
“’Night!”, three voices answered.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Then Billie spoke again.
“I actually thought I’ve moved on, you know …”
“We know …” Lynn told her.
“I miss him, you know …”
“We know …” it was Kathy this time.
“Good night!”, Billie said with a sigh and the other three said it back.
“What’s a breakdown?” Abby’s voice broke the silence.
“It’s when you feel very, very sad and cry a lot …” Billie answered stroking her baby sister’s long brown hair.
“I think I might have one if mom refuses to let me go to Annie’s sleepover party.” she stated while her sisters tried so hard not to laugh.
“Nighty night, Abby!”, Lynn said.
Another couple of minutes passed, till Kathy talked:
“Chuck’s being a jerk. We have had some trouble with the skating lately and he says it’s my fault ‘cause I’ve put on some weight … And he’s dating Sienna Carrow who is so cute and well – shaped and totally feminine.”
“Jerk!”, Lynn said.
“Totally!”, Billie agreed.
“Did you just say Sienna was … “well – shaped?” Billie asked laughing.
“Not helping, sis”, Kathy warned.
“Kay, sorry, but he’s your partner and I know he’s a jerk for blaming the bad skating on you, but when it comes to dating I really don’t think you have a say … I mean he can date whom ever he wants, you have to … um … accept … “, Billie continued.
“Billie!” Kathy said “Remember Graduation party and Olivia?”
“Yeah …, sorry …”
“Thanks”
Before anyone could wish the others goodnight for the third time that night, Kathy spoke again:
“Lynn?”
“Mmmm …” her sister answered.
“Do you have anything to share with us?”
“Not really. … Why?”
“Oh, I just thought for the sake of the conversation …” Kathy replied.
“Ok, fine!” Lynn burst. “There’s this guy, Denny, we met at a party, got drunk, had … um … “ she placed her hands on Abby’s years and whispered “sex”.
“Hey! What was that for?” Abby asked angry.
“And???” Kathy asked.
“Whoa, stop right there! Right after you met?” Billie shouted.
“Billie, let her tell the story, please” Kathy told her sister.
“And we talked, and realized we were both sick and tired of people flirting with us and we were both too busy with our studies to waste time dating so we decided to tell people we were dating each other.”
“So you’re dating this guy?” Kathy asked.
“That’s what we tell people but we’re actually just …”
“Friends with benefits?” Billie offered, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
“Yeah …” she answered. And after a moment of silence she added “I’m a mess …” Her elder sister extended her arm and hugged her. Lynn rested her head on her shoulder and neither Kathy, nor Abby knew she was crying quietly.
They slept snuggled together in Billie’s bed for a few hours until the noise made by someone’s cell phone waked them.
“Billie, it’s yours, make it stop” Kathy mumbled. Billie reached for her cell phone and answered:
“Hello …”
“Rae …” she heard and for a brief moment she wondered if she could still be dreaming.
“Richard?” she whispered.
Both Lynn and Kathy’s eyes shot open and they both looked at her. Her own eyes widened as she heard him say:
“Rae … Can you please come to New York? I … need you so much!” and then the voice broke.
“I … you … are you ok?” she asked already knowing what she was going to do.
“Rae …”
“I … I’ll be right over. First flight in the morning. “ she told him.
“Thank you. It means a lot. I’ll be waiting for you …”
“You’re welcome” she said with a smile, then she hang up and turned to her sisters stating simply “I’m going to New York”.

About 2

I decided to change the story, because I've kind of lost interest in writing the first one. It is not on hiatus, it is simply not going to be done anymore. Title is sort of similar, plot is different.