Chapter 1

Billie – Rae

(1990)

They Usually Come With A Note

She rang the door bell desperately waiting for an answer. She never thought anything could scare her best friend. But he had seemed pretty scared on the phone. That was good enough reason for Wilhelmina – Rachel Winston to hop into the first plane to New York at five o’clock in the morning. Finally the door opened…
“Richie!” she shouted. “You’re fine! My God, you’ve scared me!”
He looked at her so intently that she felt a huge need to go back where she came from. But she resisted and, even more, she did something she never had the courage to do before: she took one more step towards him and hugged him. For a second, he didn’t react in any way and she tensed expecting him to push her away, like he always did, every time she ever tried to get close to him. But she was more mature now. The shy teenager who had been in love with him ever since they started med school seven years ago, was now a confident young woman. After a split hugged her back.
“I need you”, he whispered. She could enjoy the moment, as she had been waiting and wishing for this for a long time, but instead she pulled back and said: “Wow, you’re not fine, are you?”. He didn’t answer.
“Richie, what’s wrong? I mean, you never needed me. I was the one needing you. You’re not … dying are you?” she continued half serious, half joking. “I’m not dying, but my career might”, he smiled, but then turned serious and told her looking deeply into her big green eyes “I always needed you, Rae. I just … never showed. I kept pushing you away, but never away enough for you not to come back … I’m sorry. And now … now, I need you more than ever …”
“All right, then.” she said, trying hard not to give in to emotions, “Tell me what happened, before I …”
“Before you what?”
“Nothing, just tell me.”
He took her hand and guided her to the living-room. “This happened”, he said pointing to the couch. And on the couch …
“That’s a baby”, she said looking at the baby and then back to Richie, and back to the baby … “Your … nephew?”, she tried.
“Apparently, my son”, he answered. “Two nights ago, when I came back from work I found him in a basket on my doorstep.”
Billie laughed. “You’re kidding right?” He looked more serious then ever. “You’re not kidding”, she added trying not to freak out. “Was there a … note with the baby? That’s how they usually come, with a note.”
He smiled, “This one came with a note, too. How unoriginal, huh? Oh, and he also came with diapers which I already used, and a bottle which I had to refill a few times. Here’s the note.”
Billie took the piece of paper and read:

Richie,

This beautiful baby boy is our son. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. Actually, I’m sorry you had to find out at all, I wasn’t planning on telling you. But plans change. I can’t provide him with anything a child needs. I can’t be a mother to him. So I’m giving him to you, begging you to love him and care for him the way I wish I could. Be a good daddy and find him a mommy, someone better than I could ever be. I love you both.
P.S.: He is three weeks old (born July 27) and doesn’t have a name yet. I thought you might want to name him.

“Not signed”, Billie noticed. “Typical. She obviously doesn’t want to be found.”
“Yeah.”
“So, my dear best friend, who did you sleep with … um … let’s see … oh, yeah, about eight and a half to nine and a half months ago?” she asked looking into his eyes.
“I … I don’t remember. I mean, that’s an entire month. You expect me to remember all the women I slept with in a month?” he asked turning away.
“Actually I expected you to only sleep with one, since you do have a girlfriend”, Billie’s voice seemed colder as she spoke again.
“I broke up with Olivia last October and got back together for Christmas. So when he is supposed to have been conceived I’ve slept with a lot of women: ex-girlfriends, co-workers, childhood friends, girls I picked up in bars and clubs … Like I wanted to prove something to myself. Or Olivia.”
Billie felt pity for him. She’d never seen him so sad …
“Well” she smiled, “it can’t be someone you see every day because you would have noticed her being pregnant, right? Then again, it must be someone you knew for sometime, because in the note she says she loves you both. I doubt any of your one night stands would come to love you in such a short time. She probably wouldn’t even have the baby. So … “ but she suddenly stopped talking and looked at him as if she remembered something. Then she said: “But you use protection, you always did. At least that’s what you’ve told me ever since we first talked about sex. So …”
“He might not be mine?”
“He might be yours … or not. You cannot know unless you run some tests. You’re a doctor for heaven’s sake, how come you didn’t think of it?”
“I … it must have slipped my mind … We should do that. We should go to the hospital and do that. Today.”